In which FCM goes ballistic in public…

I am actually a very shy person. My siblings would say the same thing about me as well as all but my very close friends. I don’t like confrontations. I am not a violent person. I chose to ignore certain things… until today.

Living in SF comes with two different takes. The first take is that I live in one of the most amazing and beautiful cities in the world. it’s a culturally diverse area with mounds of activities and bustling about. Some of the most amazing sights in the world I feel are part of Fog City. The Fog, for example, I feel is one of these sights. I can’t describe to you how many times I have looked out my window early in the morning while drinking my coffee and just been in awe over the misty fog rolling towards the Golden Gate.


The Golden Gate is one of these astounding sights. It rises, majestically out of the fog like a gigantic guard, welcoming people to out city. I love the fact that I can see this bridge from my house. I love the fact that I can walk to Land’s End (again, breath taking), the Legion of Honor and even Golden Gate Park! in fact, there have been many times when Ricky was VERY little and I couldn’t put him to sleep, my friend Cathleen suggested I drive him around the city. I did so and wound up in the parking lot of the LOH, amazed at the view of the city before me. Breathtaking.


However, with that amazement’s that come with living in SF, there can be some shitty parts too. Hypodermic needles in GGP, near play grounds? yeah, not too happy about that. Crime rates in the Hunter’s-Point and Bay View? yeah, still not improving. Prices for housing? You don’t even want to know what I pay to keep Rick and I in a decently safe and clean area! But I think what really bothers me is the homeless.

This isn’t about bashing the homeless. Lord knows that I am Struggling to survive in my city. And I am aware that many of the homeless have undiagnosed mental disorders. I don’t often go downtown, where people beg for change and there is stench of urine in the air. I prefer to stay where Rick has some fun friends and activities. plus, even though I love this city, parking is a bitch.

Today, I lost my cool with the homeless. While walking down Geary, with Ricky and Stan in tow, we passed a homeless woman. as she saw us approach, she smiled and said, “spare change?” I smiled and shook my head no. that is when the shit hit the fan. this woman started yelling after me, “of course you don’t bitch! you wouldn’t dare help someone ‘like me’! I’ll fucking cut your throat!”

Threatened? not really.

However, when she continued “one day you will wake up and find that cute black haired boy in a pool of blood in your bed with his fucking head on the bed post!” I kind of lost it. Threaten me all you want. Threaten my kid and you will be dead before you hit the ground.

I turned around and stared at her. and then I began my tirade:

“don’t you threaten my kid! you have no idea what a fucking bitch mom like myself will do to protect her kid! you’ll slit my throat? honey, I will fucking have you dead before you hit the fucking ground! I will fuck you up if you even come NEAR me and you want to know why? because I can! I work at the fucking morgue bitch! I know how to kill a man! I know what is the most painful and undetectable poisons to use! I know where the fucking bullet can hit to cause you a slow and painful death! I know what arteries to slice to make it look like a suicide but in reality you will bleed out slowly while I watch and laugh! I know what chemicals will break bones into dust where I can scatter you into the wind and no one will ever notice that this bitch who once harassed and threatened them until they gave her spare change is fucking gone! do not even THINK about fucking with me or my kid! do you understand?!”

each word spoken brought me right up into her face until I was literally half an inch away from her, spitting as I screamed. People watched as the crazy short lady with long black hair screeched and cussed out the homeless lady. the homeless lady turned and left. I sat there panting and waiting until the rage in me subsided before I turned to face Ricky. When I looked around, people who had stopped on the street to watch this showdown were actually smiling and clapping.

but what made my heart sing was when I turned around and saw Ricky, clapping along with everyone else.

the moral of the story?



5 Responses to “In which FCM goes ballistic in public…”

  1. mom2amara Says:

    [applause, applause!] Amen, sista! No one should ever threaten a child!

  2. Maggie Says:

    Wish I was there to witness it. Now that I know you could kill me & leave no trace I promise never to get on your bad side 🙂

  3. Sueb0b Says:

    Wow. That must have been one crazy scene. One of my friends just got back from SF and said she would never return because she was repeatedly threatened by panhandlers, one of whom chased her 3 blocks.

  4. motherofbun Says:

    YEs! Yes. We moms are like mama bears. And you just don’t mess with mama bears and walk away unscathed.

    And I’m clapping for you too.

  5. jessica Says:

    When I was a kid, my mom was rather timid and nervous. I was very nervous. I was also beaten up everyday after school for years. Nothing worked – trips to the school, the parents, the principal – nothing. I was a walking target.

    One day I was chased down by an older boy (I was about 9, he was 12), he caught me, and started beating me. It happened in front of a construction site, right outside the fence. I was covering my head, trying to protect my face, and the next thing I know, the beating stops. I looked up, and the boy is DANGLING in front of me, feet off the ground, and my anxiety-ridden mother is holding him by the back of the neck. She dropped him, and with the most menacing voice I have ever heard from her, said, “NEVER. TOUCH HER. AGAIN.” He takes off, running like crazy.

    Then, she wheels around and starts screaming at the construction workers: “What the fuck is WRONG with you!? You just stand there and watch a little girl get beaten up by a bigger BOY!? What the fuck!? Assholes! You ought to be ASHAMED of yourselves!!!”

    I have no idea if the men said anything – probably called her crazy – but I do know that I had never felt safer in my life.

    Good for you!

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