Bah Humbug

Not really feeling the xmas mood. never mind that KOIT radio has been playing fucking Xmas carols non-stop since Thanksgiving day. Just not in the mood.

so here are some of my favorite Xmas ditties for you: Xmas at ground zero

It’s Christmas at ground zero
There’s music in the air
The sleigh bells are ringing and the carolers are singing
While the air raid sirens blareIt’s Christmas at ground zero
The button has been pressed
The radio just let us know
That this is not a test

Everywhere the atom bombs are dropping
It’s the end of all humanity
No more time for last-minute shopping
It’s time to face your final destiny

It’s Christmas at ground zero
There’s panic in the crowd
We can dodge debris while we trim the tree
Underneath the mushroom cloud

You might hear some reindeer on your rooftop
Or Jack Frost on your windowsill
But if someone’s climbing down your chimney
You better load your gun and shoot to kill

It’s Christmas at ground zero
And if the radiation level’s okay
I’ll go out with you and see all the new
Mutations on New Year’s Day

It’s Christmas at ground zero
Just seconds left to go
I’ll duck and cover with my Yuletide lover
Underneath the mistletoe

It’s Christmas at ground zero
Now the missiles are on their way
What a crazy fluke, we’re gonna get nuked
On this jolly holiday

What a crazy fluke, we’re gonna get nuked
On this jolly holiday!”

or how about this one?

Silent Night

Silent night,

Broken night.

All is fallen,

When you take your flight

I found some hate for you,

just for show.

You found some love for me,

thinking I’d go.

Don’t keep me from crying to sleep

Sleep in heavenly peace.

Silent night,

Moonlit night.

Nothing’s changed.

Nothing is right.

I should be stronger then,

weeping alone.

You should be weaker then,

sending me home.

I can’t stop you fighting to sleep.

Sleep in heavenly peace.

Or my personal favorite (to the tune of it’s beginning to look a lot like xmas)

I’m beginning to feel a little bankrupt

With every gift I buy

Oh, the credit card companies

Love it so when they see

Me spend more than I’ll earn before I die

I’m beginning to feel a little bankrupt

Bills come every day

But the ugliest sight I see

Is the mortgage rate increase

Four percent to eight

How much I would like to say

Things will all be OK

And soon I’ll be swimming in dough

But payments are due

And soon creditors sue

It’s a cycle don’t you know

And I don’t thing that I can wait

for my bank account to grow

And I don’t thing that I can wait

for my bank account to grow

I’m beginning to feel a little bankrupt

There’s no one left to blame

I should never have bought that Wii

Or that new MP3

Why do I so like to play this game?

I’m beginning to feel a little bankrupt

Soon I’ll start to yelp

But the thing that’ll stop my frown

Is if interest rates go down

Ben Bernanke help!

Ben Bernanke help!”

 

(my cousin wrote that one as his yearly parody)

 

BAH HUMBUG

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4 Responses to “Bah Humbug”

  1. Liz Says:

    A local station started Christmas music on Nov. 1–I agree, BAH HUMBUG! Really love that last song, I hate IBTLaLLC, but those lyrics are just amazing.

  2. fog city mommy Says:

    Ill tell him you said that when he calls on tuesday. 🙂

  3. mom2amara Says:

    I heart the holidays. But carols? They can keep them! They always seem to get on my nerves and take me out of the Christmas spirit!

  4. Average Jane Says:

    A little Weird Al always makes the holidays better!

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