In the end, only kindness matters

I am not really a hugging person.  So to have a complete stranger hug me out of the blue…


Renee and I went to Macy’s to the brow bar to get our eyebrows waxed yesterday.  We were looking a little furry and my new year’s resolution is to be more feminine.  Renee is the one who suggested we go and so we did.


So after having the hair ripped out of my face and being “shaped” I got my makeup done by the nicest, gayest man.  We are talking more of a queen then Josh.  He enjoyed doing my makeup and it was sweet, even if I felt like a drag queen (dude, that much blush?  Really?)


While Renée was getting her makeup done, we started talking about Ricky.  Renee and I told Oh (yes his name was OH) about all of the cute things Ricky does.  We told him about Ricky being a ham for a camera, his long eye lashes, his love musicals, his joy of wearing my shoes and holding my Channel purse… so Oh says to us, “Are you sure he isn’t gay?”


My son is two.  Almost two and a half.  Do I know if he is gay?  No.  Has it crossed my mind? Yes.  When I think of all the stereotypes that gay men have, well…


“Well, Oh, it’s crossed my mind before.”


Oh kind of looked at me as if he couldn’t say anything really.


I continued, “But the truth is, I don’t care what he is just as long as he is happy.”


Oh stopped, put down his make up brush, walked around Renee and hugged me and kissed me on both cheeks.  “You are the coolest mom I have ever met,” he said


How am I cool?  I sometimes forget, because I am from such a diverse and accepting area in the country, that not all people are as accepting as I am for what ever my child may love.  I don’t care if he is gay/straight/bi or falls in love with someone who isn’t of my culture.  Perhaps it’s the hippie upbringing (thanks dad) but I really don’t care, as long as he is happy.


Because, in the end, isn’t that all that matters?



6 Responses to “In the end, only kindness matters”

  1. Miz BoheMia Says:

    How funny yet how annoying that people would assume that because a boy likes to play with “girl” things he might be gay… they never worry when girls play with boy things!

    When I was little I butchered all my stupid Barbies hair and preferred to play with Spiderman and even had boy Spiderman undies… but when my brother wanted to be a princess everyone was concerned.., neither of us are gay by the way…

    But I am with you on this, not that it matters… one of the reasons I SO wanted to move back home to SF from Spain was because a total straight world was too claustrophobic for me! Here, we have my lesbian surrogate moms and the kids’ honorary gay uncles and they now know of “all kinds of love” and that you just are who you are and that that’s ok and what’s not ok is if you try to be something else than what you are and feel…

    But going back to the playing… my son loves Spiderman and “boy” toys but played with my daughter’s kitchen and baby dolls WAY more than she did and loves my jewelry and is insanely crazy and in love with shoes, especially any heels of mine and once in a while he wants little pony tails in his hair… he also made sure to compliment his little girl friend when she wore a pretty blue tutu and told her it was beautiful and that he wanted to buy her a pink one… they are who they are and sexuality does not come into play until later…

    As for your little man, he sounds delightful and right on track and just a little boy so in love with his mommy that he wants to emulate that which he loves!

    And you ARE a cool mom… and luckily we aren’t alone with such stances in this fabulous little utopia of ours!

    VERY long comment but just a way of saying Happy New Year, forgive me for not having caled yet, I AM thinking of you and here’s to meeting up soon!

    Stay dry in this crazy weather….



  2. City Girl Says:

    This sounds like an excellent start to the new year to me. :o)

  3. adventuremom Says:

    Being open minded is such a wonderful thing. I totally agree with you. My kids could be whatever they wanted and as long as they are happy and productive members of society I am happy.

  4. Carrie Says:

    It is very eye opening at times that the rest of the world is not accepting as the world in which I was raised and continue to raise my kids. It kinda sucks.

  5. SF Mom of One Says:

    This a beautiful example of how your parenting principles can really touch other people–not only through the man your boy will become, but just by you holding the right attitude, and letting others know.

    So…how much for an eyebrow wax? just curious. i suck with tweezers.

  6. fog city mommy Says:

    eighteen bucks. totally worth it. I suck with tweezers as well

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