“I am so not your bunny”

At work yesterday came the annoyance that happens every few months.  I was actually outside someone’s house, on the steps, taking a call from work.  This was a crime scene I might add, and there were police everywhere.

 

Now I know almost all the police in this city and they know me.  There aren’t a lot of girls who do my job.  Yes, I had my id on but I had my sweatshirt over it as well.  I was cold.

 

Enter new cop:

 

He looks me up and down and radios something to someone.  Then he walks over to me.  “Excuse me,” says Officer Krupke, “Can I help you with anything?”

 

“Nope,” I say, hand over phone, “I am good.  Just calling the office”

 

“Well,” officer krupke continues, “you aren’t allowed to be here sweetheart.  This is a crime scene.  I need you to go back behind the line over there.”

 

I am dumbfounded again.

 

When I just give him a look of sheer stupidity and disgust, about to open my mouth, he literally grabs me by the arm and escorts me away from the scene.  At the same time, he starts lecturing me about “do your parents know where you are?” and “aren’t you supposed to be in school?” 

 

I find this hilarious.  This actually happens a lot because I don’t look my age at all and who would have a GIRL doing my job?

 

When he gets me to the police line I turned around and looked at him.  He looked at me.  I then proceeded with my triad, which went something like this:

 

“Wow.  I forgot how smart the police are.  Thank you so much for helping a little girl like me remember that she shouldn’t be in areas like this.  I mean, I could have seen a dead body or sumtin’ like that! That would have been so gross!  And what if I got some weird body juice on me?  Or blood? Dude! You are SO my hero for protecting me.  I should totally call my mom and dad and tell them how sorry I am I decided to ditch English class. I means, you gots to know that when the po-po are in the neighborhood there is trouble.  Thank you so much.”

 

Now, paint If you will a picture, as this is going on, detective J****** is coming up behind the cop.  The cop is all smiling because I am SO RELIEVD that a nice guy like him helped poor little me out.

 

 

I continued, “I mean, thank you so much!  You are like the coolest guy in the world!  Wait till I tell all my friends about you!…. Oh hey Detective J!  how is life treating you today?”

 

J responded it was good and asked about Ricky.

 

As I ducked under the police tape I said, “Well you know Ricky… he’s only the cutest 2 and a half year old ever!  Say J, can you introduce me to the newbie?  The one who obviously thought I was a teenager?”

 

Needless to say, the cop was embarrassed.

 

Word to the wise: never assume anyone is younger then you.  Never assume they don’t know what they are doing.  AND NEVER treat them as inferior to you.

 

But most of all, 40 minutes later when we are leaving, don’t come back to them and say “hey honey, I am so sorry.  Now that I know you’re legal, would you like to get a drink sometime?”