An open letter to my downstairs neighbour

Dear kindly neighbor,


I like to think that you ad I get along.  After all, you warned me about the psycho next door, and we have bonded over issues with him, especially the day Ricky and I got locked out and we waited on the steps together until the lock man came.  Oh yes, I like to think of you as the sane neighbor.


I ignore the fact that Elaine told me that you are on parole from some thing in NY.  I ignore that Elaine ahs mentioned you and your mom pop prescription drugs like they were skittles.  You are quiet and polite and keep to yourself, as am I.


So I apologize for buzzing your door tonight and asking you, at 10:15pm, to please turn down your music because Ricky is asleep.  But I am also shocked at your look of disgust at me and then saying, ‘yeah, I guess so” before shutting the door in my face.  It’s cold sir and I have walked down the stairs in to the cold to ask you a simple favor because my cranky almost three year old who is sick has finally gone to bed after hours of trying. 


Perhaps I should have mentioned to you that while I am sure it was wonderful for you at midnight last night to crank up your Usher until 2am, for me it consisted of ear plugs and a fussy kid who CAN’T wear earplugs.  I have never once complained to you that when we are napping in the afternoon, you play your music so loud I can make out the words to Sexyback through the floor.  Why?  Because I understand that it is the middle of the day on a Tuesday, or a Friday, or a Sunday. Nor have I mentioned this to our landlords because I figure we are adults and can handle ourselves responsibly and cordially.


However, if you blast and of that shit again at another god-awful hour, FUCK THE LANDLORDS I WILL CALL THE FUCKING POLICE.





One Response to “An open letter to my downstairs neighbour”

  1. Tami Says:

    Wow. What an ASS. Now I really want to make sure we buy a house with people to the sides of it, in their own houses. Damn.

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