The Playground Mafia is watching you

I love the golden gate park children playground. There is so much to do. There are play structures everywhere, swings, slides down the hill, soccer fields, a real life Merry-go-round. It’s amazing.


Ricky and I went there in between storms because we needed to get the hell out of the house! Turns out, there were many moms with the same idea. The playground was packed. Children, all ages, running and jumping on all the structures. It was a madhouse. Weeks of straight down pouring rain will do that to anyone I suppose.


HOWEVER, I am now going to get on my soapbox…


Attention fat assed, foul-mouthed mother with badly bleached weave. When your daughter is on the swings, you under two-year-old daughter I might add, pay more attention to her. How fast they grow, so don’t give her a push when she is slumped so low in the chair it’s obvious she isn’t really having fun. Then don’t walk away to talk to your friend about “I was so drunk last night and omigod these young hotties were all over me” because I guarantee you, they weren’t.


When your daughter is slumped in the swing, don’t raise it over your head so high that when she swings out this mom gasps because she is sure that you small child will be falling out, cracking a skull and causing internal bleeding and death. I would hate to be the one to come out of the morgue and say “told you so.”


Lastly, when there is a line of kids waiting, and your daughter says she wants out… for fuck’s sake lady, take her out!


Perhaps we, the playground mafia, should teach you a lesson or tow about being a mother and being a mom. Because there is a HUGE difference. Anyone can spread their legs, incubate for 40 weeks and squeeze out a kid. Not everyone can be a mom.


We are watching you.



PS…. extending the deadline to saturday night!


2 Responses to “The Playground Mafia is watching you”

  1. Carrie Says:

    Playground mafia is a great concept! I’d so join you if I was there, you know I would!

  2. motherofbun Says:

    “Anyone can spread their legs, incubate for 40 weeks and squeeze out a kid. Not everyone can be a mom.” Amen, sister. Amen.

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