Archive for the ‘city life’ Category

Why my blog posts are few these days…

October 23, 2008

I got an email wondering where I am.  (Um, last time I check I was in Colma.)  I guess you can’t drop the marriage bombshell without a few explainations.

a few months ago I started dating my high school sweetheart again.  BH (which means better half but ironically are also his incials) and I have known each other since birth. Literally. We were neighbors and our moms went into labor 6 days apart from each other.

Anyway, we have been quietly seeing each other.  Of course the enveitable happened… I’m pregnant. Actually, I am about five and a half months pregnant. surprise! I am having… a baby.  Like with my little guy, I am not finding out the sex. I am due on Feb 20th.

So that is why my blog entries are few and far between.  between working, running after the older child (wow, i can say that now), moving (oh yeah, that too.), the computer being sent BACK IN FOR MORE REPAIRS and life in general I am just exhausted.

Arguing about culture, people and SF.

July 22, 2008

My car broke down. Saying that is an understatement. Came to a grinding halt in the middle of a crappy part of SF in the noon hour is more like it. Had it towed over to ye old repair shop and started to walk to the bus stop with Rick and Stan a few blocks away.

Stan and I got into a disagreement. A BIG ONE. Stan is a guy. He is strong. He is smart. He can handle himself. I am a girl. I am strong, though not as strong, but small. I can handle myself most of the time. Rick was with us. He’s three for Christ’s sake. He can handle his stuffed rabbit.

We are walking through not such a great neighborhood and I am a little antsy. Stan says, and I quote, “there is nothing to worry about. There are three of us.”

Hm. Interesting. The way I look at it is there are 2.5 of us and it doesn’t really matter if you are a guy, I am a girl walking with her child.

In other words, I am an easy target. Doesn’t help that I am carrying my dell in my diaper bag. It doesn’t matter if there are three of us. There is my child and myself. Easy targets. I have been in this city all my life. I know when it’s not a great time to be in certain areas. And sometimes, it doesn’t matter if it’s noon on a Tuesday, there are just some areas that you don’t want to be.

Now, here is the kicker: I tried to explain to him that it doesn’t matter that it’s noon on Tuesday. I am a girl. I have a kid with me. There is an imminent amount of danger that he can’t even to begin to rationalize because of one simple fact: HE IS MALE.

Recently, there was a disagreement in the media about the N word. I hate this word. I have never used this word and never will. Even when reading Tom Sawyer in high school I would skip it. I just refuse. Anyway, the argument is that white people should never use that word while Africa Americans can use it. Hey, that’s fine and I can understand why this is. It makes sense in reclaiming the word and history. However, I can’t say that I will ever come close to understanding the hatred because there is nothing compairable for me to be called.

But Stan decided to argue the point with me that I shouldn’t feel afraid because I am in a bad area of town, I am a girl and I am walking with a baby. I used the N-word controversy as an example. And he didn’t get it. But then again, I don’t expect him to. Because he’s male. He will never have to worry about the things that, as a woman, come into my life everyday. I have experienced and seen some really fucked up shit in my life as a woman. Things that wouldn’t even begin to cross a man’s mind in the middle of the day will enter mine because, unfortunetly in this society, they have to. So no, I don’t expect him to GET IT but I expect him to respect that he won’t get it because of these reasons.

I mean, ladies, am I wrong to worry about my child and myself?

And since he’s reading this because, let’s face it, you met some really rad people this week, I would hop that maybe seeing it in writing may affect your judgement and open your eyes a bit. 🙂

Sipping on gin and juice.

July 20, 2008

Oh yes, Blogher weekend has come to an end. The women are leaving the city. Estrogen is returning to normal levels in SF.

And boy was it fun. Party crashing. Booze. Fun.

Oh yes, and Booze. Lots of Booze. And the crazy times began with the drop of a bottle of vodka.

I finally met the other Rachel. While we don’t live near each other anymore, per say, we did decide that we needed to represent our town. We needed to set people straight about a few things of being here (“yes, it’s really July.” “Yes this is what the weather is like.” “No we are not lesbians” “yes the Giants do suck” “No the golden gate bridge is not made of gold” etc) Other Rachel and I actually look alike as well. Dark curly hair. ☺

Anyway, we decided that since we are going “gangsta” living here in the city we created a gang sign. There are two of us. That would be Rachel squared baby. So we came up with our sign…

So you watch on the Muni buses for our sign.

Oh yeah, because that’s how we roll here biotches.


July 15, 2008

Uh-oh.  Here they come.  The women bloggers have invaded the city.


and I have to work!!!!

hell? no, just SF

May 15, 2008

As things slowly progress back to normal in my life (but really is normal one should ask?) we are hit with a heat wave.  Not just any heat wave, but in this woman’s humble opinion, the mother of all heat waves.  This morning, while walking out the door to get Rick to pre-school, I noted it was warm.  when I got into my car, the thermamoter gauge read eighty one.

EIGHTY ONE!  at 8:30 in the morning!!!  This is not going to be a good day.

and it wasn’t.

it got up to almost 100.

the power went off at work, so no a/c

power went off at pre-school so we had o go get our children, so they didn’t get heat stroke.

our apartment is on the 4th floor.  the sun shines in it all day.  there is no A/C

it was 97 degrees in the house tonight at 6pm

Ricky and I spent an hour wandering the grocery store for the a/c

we ate ben and jerry’s for dinner

and now, my adorable three year old, is asleep in the bathtub, because it’s cool.

and I am curling up on the floor next to him.

yep.  it is hot.

I’ve moved.

April 19, 2008


I moved today.  to my new place.  in the castro. it’s closer to the kid’s preschool.  my little boy, who now insists on being called Rick because of this preschool having three Rickys, has his own bedroom!  and a “big boy” bed!  that’s right!  no more toddler bed for Rick, he’s a big boy now. and he loves jumping on his bed. of course that breaks my heart a little bit.  they grow so fast.

Confessions of a free woman

March 5, 2008

What does it mean to be free?  what does it mean to be a woman?  I can admit that I take for granted the freedoms that I have as a woman here in the good ol’ USA.  I am a professional woman, mother, friend, confident.  I read books and watch TV.  if I feel like going to the park on a sunny day I take my son.  I wear short skirts and tank tops.  And although I thrive in my beat up converse sneakers, I wear heels when I want to.  I can wear make up.  I work a job that is historically a “man’s job”.  I cook balanced meals and play soccer and baseball.  I watch sports.  I laugh.  I smile.

Playing this week at the Yoruba Buena Center down town is a documentary that is six hours long about women around the world.  its entitled “flying: confessions of a free woman”.  I highly recommend that you check it out.  the premise is wonderful: take an ordinary woman in America, living her “American dream” and leave it all to talk to women from around world about being a women.

This fascinates me to no end.  other cultures astound me.  Before getting in to health care, I wanted to be an anthropologist.  I wanted to witness these countries where life was like a couldn’t fathom.   Here in this film, our hero does exactly that, with grace, humor, intelligence and wit.

I am thrilled to be seeing this film this week.  I truly hope that other will see it as well.  I’ll be the frizzy brown haired, brown eyed, thick glasses, nerdy girl with the beat up converse sneakers and UCSC purple sweatshirt!

OK, off my soap box

Calling all bay area moms, stepmoms, partners, life partners, adopted moms, god moms and any female mother figure may have missed…

March 4, 2008

I would like to start a group blog designed specifically for the bay area moms.  Because there are so many different type of moms (see title above) in our little niche of california, I am going to just use the term mom as an all encompassing term.  So please don’t feel offened if I left you out…

As I was saying, I would like to start a blog to be written by moms of our area.  let’s face it, we are quite a strange little place at times.  where else can you wear shorts in february?  or not blink an eye when you see same sex couples kissing because it’s normal?  or not even have “smoking or non-smoking section” be part of your vocabulary?

yep, only in california.

So I ask all moms who would be interested in doing a little writing to drop me an email (rach dot zand at gmail dot com)  Are you a feminist mommy?  do you have a surreal sense of death (like myself?)  do you have a tween or teen?  do you have a “different” job?  are you a single mom?  a step mom? a mom who is partnered (with a male or female!) and raising your/their child?  have an interesting take on politics? how about sex? playgroups?   adoption? divorce? death in families? home schooling? SAHM? Live in SF? Oakland? Berkeley? the Peninsula?

if any of those (or more) sound great, come join the fun. You can use a real name, fake name, or both (like me! Rachel is real… Zander is not….it’s americanized)

let’s do it!

man. this is harder then I thought it would be.

February 23, 2008

As of 10:15 tonight, my little man is on the way to europe with his father for almost two weeks. I haven’t been parted from him for more then two days since he was born! This is hard!

Mind you now I have time to myself, at least for a few days. Then katie (the older sister) is coming into to town from Japan. she says she has a surprise. When katie says there is a surprise, it’s reason to worry.

Iris flies in next week as well. She’s coming from Texas. She hates living there but that’s where the work is.

Both my sister’s have Usher’s Syndrome. I better make sure the house is clean so they don’t get hurt.

it’s pouring rain right now. on nights like tonight I would usually curl up with the baby and the pup. damn I miss that dog. I know that seems stupid, but I really do. I was thinking of getting another until Josh pointed out that maybe that wasn’t a good idea because it’s really hard to find a place in SF that takes dogs. I have been in this place for two years and it was hard to find it, so maybe another dog is a bad idea.

did I mention I have the flu? Fucking flu shot being the wrong fucking strain.

Hate me today. Hate me tomorrow. Hate me for all the things I couldn’t do for you.

February 12, 2008

Today’s weather appropriate outfit:

Green Shorts

Yellow Tank Top

SF Giant’s ball cap

Flip flops.

Ricky’s outfit:

Blue shorts

White tank

SF Giant’s ball cap

Flip Flops

We both wore a load of sun sceen as we went swimming. It was a freaking warm day. and yes, I am aware of the date. it’s almost as if that groundhog who stuck his head out on Feb 2 and was met with pouring rain and icey winds said, “fuck this shit. I am outta here. you bitches can kiss my ass with 6 more weeks of winter!” is eating his words now.

ahh yes… “winter” in California

***I am aware of the wrath of comments I am going to get from the midwest. Be gentle.***