Archive for the ‘Funny’ Category

And we are back….

February 19, 2008

The good news: we came home safe and sound and almost 300 bucks richer! (I allow yself 100 bucks when I am in vegas.  I am pretty damn good at black jack)

The bad news: This morning our dog Wimp had some sort of seizure.  He is at the vet’s overnight but the vet has warned me that it may be time for Wimp to go to that big doggie park in the sky.

The Ugly: Ricky discovered a new food allergy on this trip (almonds)  Hives are so much fun.

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Hate me today. Hate me tomorrow. Hate me for all the things I couldn’t do for you.

February 12, 2008

Today’s weather appropriate outfit:

Green Shorts

Yellow Tank Top

SF Giant’s ball cap

Flip flops.

Ricky’s outfit:

Blue shorts

White tank

SF Giant’s ball cap

Flip Flops

We both wore a load of sun sceen as we went swimming. It was a freaking warm day. and yes, I am aware of the date. it’s almost as if that groundhog who stuck his head out on Feb 2 and was met with pouring rain and icey winds said, “fuck this shit. I am outta here. you bitches can kiss my ass with 6 more weeks of winter!” is eating his words now.

ahh yes… “winter” in California

***I am aware of the wrath of comments I am going to get from the midwest. Be gentle.***

The newest version of peer pressure

February 12, 2008

I noted the other day that this little blog has surpassed 16 thousand hits in a little over six months. Wow.

Wow.wow.wow.wow.wow.

I didn’t think anyone would ever read it. It started out as something to let me blow off stream of a stressful job and tell stories of my adorable son. But over 16,000 hits? Wow.

Most people would think to themselves that this is rather cool. And I agree. It is rather cool. However, it leads to major pressure. Pressure in my life is not really what I need. I get enough stress at work to last a lifetime.

What kind of pressure? Oh god… people expect me to be entertaining. And humorous. And sweet. And sassy. The pressure man! The PRESSURE!! I am going to crack up!!!! AAAUUUGGGHHHH!!!

In other words, fog city mom has major writer’s block.

Protected: unbelievable.

February 11, 2008

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Feedback time

February 11, 2008

So what do you really think of me?

as stolen from Missy 

one word in the comments box that you think of when you think of Fog City Mommy.

Curious….

Dumb Dumb Dumb

February 11, 2008

Tonight, I pulled an idiot SF move. I was driving through a neighborhood to my favorite little coffee shop. It’s not really in a convenient place for Ricky and myself to go to, but it’s funky, Ricky likes it, and I can relax and watch Ricky with pride. I wasn’t really thinking, I just was driving. So imagine my surprise when I get to the cross street and said neighborhood café (simple pleasures for you SF folk), was GONE.

I mean it was GONE GONE!

I stopped at the stop sign for 37th and just thought, “Um… where is the neighborhood?” The neighborhood has a bunch of funky little shops, the balboa theater; metered parking… this was a quiet residential neighborhood. No shops. No theater. No NOTHING.

I had to pull over. I know this café has been around for over 30 years. I grew up coming here after school for coco and tea with my nutty friends. How the hell is it possible that it has disappeared? That, let alone the whole damn shopping area. Ricky softly says, “mooooooommmmmmmmy?” as if he is trying to figure it out as well.

It was like the twilight zone. I know the café was there. I know that it’s usually a funky, hip little neighborhood. I know that it’s impossible for a café and neighborhood to disappear in the blink of an eye and be replaced by homes with fences and yards and trees.

I am lost and confused when I look up and realize I am on the wrong street. I want to be one block up.
how long have I lived in this city again? Did you hear that smack? That was the thud of my hand hitting my forehead with my homer Simpson D’oh!

Dumbfuck.

Please join us in the Campaign against Youtube.  It’s a really serious cause!!!

Crap to the second power

February 8, 2008

not only does my wrist hurt because like an idiot i broke it (lol) but now my elbow and shoulder seems to have developed a bit of tendonitis. from lifting heavy things is my bet.

hmm. what do I carry that’s heavy?

PS by the way, a few nights ago, renee and I went to a concert.  we were so close to the stage.  we saw James blunt.  more on that later.

Suggestions?

February 2, 2008

My brother Linus… he’s getting married.

the problem with this is kind of simple. he lives in eastern europe. for Ricky and I to fly there next summer will be pricey. in fact, it’s something I can’t afford.  believe it or not… my OH-SO-GLAMMEROUS Job doesn’t pay as well as you would expect.

Today he calls to tell me darla (his fiancee) wants to get married in her hometown… SYDNEY. Holy cow. I thought it was expensive to fly to the czech republic? it’s FIVE THOUSAND DOLLARS to get ME AND RICKY to sydney. I can’t do that. I am barely surviving here as it is. and of course, Linus is say, “If you really loved me you would come.” Ok, he’s not REALLY saying that but you know he’s thinking it!

SO now I am selling DVDs, CDs, Furnitaure, Clothing, and quite possibly my soul… all to get to a freaking wedding!!!

anyone have any other suggestions? because I have another wedding in vancouver in September (which I am in) and now this! and I need the car tuned up (badly!) and I wanted to go to blogher. I think blogher might have to be given up.

I am totally bummed.

oh yes… and voting closes in a few hours on the contest

It’s 2 am and I must be lonely… no really, it IS 2 am….

February 2, 2008

Here is the thing.  Ricky is back with sean for the weekend (yes, ia ma still very mad that voldomort is getting so much time with Ricky,especially since he hasn’t care d fo rhte part oh I don’t know, two years.) 

 

Maybe that’s why it’s literally 2am an d I am a wee bit drunk.  And Ralph, the doggie, is biting my foot right now.

 

So what has mommy deareast been drinking to fiuck her up this badly?  Ahhh… Trader Joe’s Vintage Ale 2007.  Tee hee.  If you don’t know what it is, whell then you are so fucked you have no idea.

 

It’s 2am.  Nad maybe it takes this much beer and cheesey movies and music ot know that I am not happy where I am in lfe right mow.  I mean, Ricky rocks my world for ever and ever… but I am not ahppy when hes’ not here. 

 

Is it possible tha t a pserson can build there life around something so simple that when it’s missing in action that it  feels like their world stops?  B ecuas e that is how I feet about Ricky roo. 

 

And movies from the 90d are becoming dated fue to the hair styles.

 

Oh.. this is why fcm   never drinks.  Too muchthinking.

 

And no I am not going to spell check this.

She’s so damn clever…

February 1, 2008

My perfect post is pretty simple this month.

I thought it fasinating (and knowing blogger it took forever to do) that Missy of the ranch in a land down under created a fun and funny entry. furthermore, her “read along picture story book” thing made me want to make one for Ricky, but a real book. Thank you for the insperation. You are staying with me in July, right?

And I can’t figure out how to put the button in this entry.  sorry 🙂

***for more fun things to read, here and here**